


Toybox

by Mina Lightstar (ukefied)



Series: The Domesticity Arc [13]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Curtain Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 01:29:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukefied/pseuds/Mina%20Lightstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Feel free to continue that fantasy in your dreams."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toybox

**Author's Note:**

> The arc came back to life in November, 2006 and continued until sometime in 2007.

"Blue."

"Burgundy."

"No, blue."

"Uh-uh, _burgundy._ "

" _Blue._ "

"BURGUNDY."

"I don't want a burgundy office," Kurapika says. "Burgundy is so dark."

"Blue is depressing," Leorio retorts. "You know why we use so much blue at the hospital? So patients will be quiet and heal."

"Quiet is the kind of atmosphere I want in the office," the blond points out. "And anyway, I like blue."

"Burgundy is sexy. I want a sexy office lady atmosphere." Leorio nods to himself. "And she would, like, wear a hot little burgundy outfit -- you know, a mini-skirt and a shirt with those too-thin-to-be-straps straps? And saunter over and ask me, 'Would you like some sex -- I mean, coffee, Leorio-sensei,' and I would say--"

"Feel free to continue that fantasy in your dreams. On the couch. Which is where you'll be sleeping tonight. Alone. Not having sex with me -- ever again. Also, blue."

"I was _kidding_ ," Leorio defends himself. "About having sex with the OL, anyway. Burgundy is a sexy color. Why don't you wear burgundy?"

Kurapika ignores him, continues to inspect the walls of the office. "What about gray? To match the rocks inside your head?"

"What about black? Like _your soul._ "

"Oh, stop it." Kurapika makes a helpless gesture with his hands. "Maybe we need a third party."

Leorio stops himself from making the obvious threesome joke. "Like Gon or Killua? Why can't you see how hot burgundy is?"

"I never said it wasn't a nice color. It's just that it's so dark."

"But it's _hot_ dark!" Leorio brainstorms. "What do I have to do to convince you? Buy a burgundy sex toy? Flavored condoms?"

"What, that taste like burgundy?" Kurapika rolls his eyes. "Besides, toys don't win arguments. ... Except for that whip you got me," he adds thoughtfully. "Maybe I should go get it--"

Leorio tugs him back with a hand on his upper-arm. "Whipping is cheating. And burgundy is sexy, so there."

Kurapika glances at his watch. "Don't you have to be at a board meeting in an hour?"

"Yeah," Leorio agrees. He releases the blond and goes to pick out a tie. He decides on burgundy, just to make his point. "You had better not start painting without me."

Kurapika turns his nose up. "I would never. It would mean having to listen to you complain about the color until it was time to paint again."

***

"Green or purple?" Gon asks, holding both up for opinion.

Kurapika has loosened up enough so that he doesn't think twice about being in a sex shop inspecting fluorescent dildos with one of his best friends.

"Green has more shock value," he replies. "It's kind of scaring me."

"Hmm," Gon considers. He stares hard at them.

"Why not get both?" Even as he says it, Kurapika can't believe how perverse he's become. Leorio has ruined him.

"Different shape, though," Gon answers, and goes looking down another aisle. "Oooh, cool, what's this little thing?" he asks, poking at a joyfully colored, fleshy accessory. "Is this for a penis, too?"

Kurapika looks over his friend's shoulder and laughs. "No, Gon, that's for a woman's cli--uh, never mind."

Gon pouts at him, but moves on. "Oooh, cool, nipple vibrators! I could get a green dildo and purple nipple vibrators!"

"You could," Kurapika agrees, but his attention is on the racks of kinky costumes. "I always thought this shop's target market was both heterosexual and homosexual individuals, but all the outfits here are intended for women," he complains. He might have gotten something in burgundy to satiate Leorio (and used that post-orgasmic shutdown of Leorio's brain to get the doctor to agree to a blue office) but Kurapika has to defend his penis regularly, and he isn't about to pretend he doesn't have one -- not even for one night.

"You're upset about that? Why?" Gon comes over to join him. "You wanna play dress-up with Leorio?" He looks at some of the outfits. "I think you'd make a hot nurse."

" _Gon,_ " Kurapika chokes out.

"What?" The younger rubs the back of his head and grins. "I was only being honest."

"Well, then you can be the Jungle Queen." Kurapika points to the skimpy leopard print. "I'm not wearing a skirt, anyway," he adds, waving the issue away.

"You could wear a burgundy teddy bear," Gon suggests.

"You mean teddy. And no, that would make me the Burgundy Office Lady of Leorio's fantasies. And I _know_ fantasy is healthy," he grates out.

Gon raises his hands in surrender. "I wasn't going to say anything."

Kurapika reaches for a teddy. "Even if I did," he turns its tag around to see the price, "it would be a waste of money. The first thing he'd do would be to tell me to take it off."

"Well," Gon adjusts his bundle of toys, "what about _your_ fantasy? What is it?"

"A blue office," Kurapika replies instantly.

His friend pokes him in the shoulder. "No, dummy, a sexual fantasy! You said it was healthy, so that means you do it, too."

Kurapika frowns. "I'm not telling _you._ "

"Aw, why not?" Gon looks at his pleadingly. "I told you all about mine."

"Yes, but I didn't even want to _know_."

"And we always know everything about each other!" Gon beams. "Like, I even know you guys did it on the balcony last night--"

"Gon!" Kurapika glances around frantically, hoping no one from their complex is within earshot.

"--though I think the whole building knows, because Leorio was _so_ loud. What did you do? I wanna try it on Killua."

"Secret. Now--"

"Oh!" Gon's voice gets progressively louder. "And that one time, when you tried _molasses_ and got a little more than you bargained for, oh -- and the time where you went down on Leorio and he gave you a concussion because--"

"All right!" Kurapika cries, surrendering. "I'll tell you, just _stop it!_ " The other patrons are looking at them oddly, and Kurapika knows he's blushing.

"So?" Gon waits expectantly, a smile on his face. "What is it?"

"It's stupid," Kurapika mutters, already embarrassed.

"It is not!" Gon insists. "It's healthy and I'm sure Leorio would love to do whatever it is!"

"You are _not telling him,_ for one thing," Kurapika hisses. "For another, he's... already done it."

"Eh, really?" Gon leans forward eagerly. "What is it, what is it?"

Kurapika hesitates, but Gon is bouncing up and down, so he speaks quietly. "Okay, usually Leorio changes at his office. He wears suits and ties to and from, but at the hospital he wears his lab coat and scrubs, when he needs to. But one time, he had been so busy, day in and day out, that he stumbled home one Friday night still dressed in blue scrubs and the white lab coat. And Friday is, well, you know."

"Yeah," Gon nods, "the big sex night."

"... Right, anyway," Kurapika fidgets. "I was sure he wasn't even in the mood, because he looked exhausted, but we hadn't... all week, and he _was_ , except that he couldn't even be bothered to shower or change. Or eat," he adds as an afterthought. "And he -- ah, he...."

"Your face is so red," Gon snickers.

"Do you want to know or not?" Kurapika demands. When the other's chuckles cease, he confesses, "Okay, he played Doctor, and -- I liked it." He waits for the amusement, or even the laughter.

But all Gon does is don the look he gets whenever he's made a discovery. "Ohhhh, you like _uniforms._ " After a pause, he asks, "And he never did it again?"

"He never brings those clothes home," Kurapika explains. "They take care of them at the hospital."

"Ah, I see." Abruptly, Gon looks panicked, and gropes around for his cellphone. When he glances at its face, he winces. "Oops!" He checks his watch. "Oh, I've gotta call Killua! I'll be right back, can you hold these for me, thanks!"

Abandoned with a handful of sex toys, Kurapika can't imagine what Gon could have to discuss with Killua in a sex shop that he wasn't allowed to hear. He also wonders if Gon has his phone set on "vibrate," because he never heard it ring. Kurapika is rather suspicious by nature.

So when Gon returns, he says, "I mean it, you'd better not tell Leorio what I just told you."

Gon looks aghast. "That's mean! Kurapika, you already told me you didn't want me to tell Leorio. I wouldn't tell him! Promise!"

Kurapika nods, and accepts Gon's invitation to a movie without a second thought.

***

When Kurapika comes home, though, he immediately knows something weird is going on. There is a trail of dirty laundry leading to the bedroom, so deliberate he's afraid of what's going to be in there when he arrives.

What he finds are candles and new dark blue sheets and, of course, Leorio. He is still wearing the light blue scrubs and white lab coat and there's a stethoscope around his neck. The dark blue bag he uses to make house-calls sits by the night-stand.

Leorio shakes his head, checks his clipboard. "Your appointment was at seven-thirty. You're late."

"Oh, fuck you, Gon," Kurapika says, but he isn't really sure if he means it.

He means it a few hours later, when, during the post-orgasmic shutdown of his brain, Leorio somehow manages to convince him that burgundy is a perfect color for the office.

***

The next day, Gon defends himself from the angry blond in his doorway by saying, "But you never said I couldn't tell _Killua!_ "

Killua lifts his sleepy head from Gon's shoulder. "And you never said _I_ couldn't tell Leorio."

"You're all traitors," Kurapika accuses, "and I hate you." He turns on his heel and marches back toward the stairs.

"What are you even doing up at this hour?" Killua asks around a yawn. "You guys were at it for _hours_ last night, I'm sure."

"You didn't hate us last night," Gon calls after him.

"And now I have to live with a burgundy office!"


End file.
